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November 30, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Ai! Ai! Worse than being tormented by balrogs! Why do you leave us in such a state! Please write more! Please? All right, maybe I exaggerated about the balrogs, but you have no idea howmany times I've retunred hoping to read the next chapter. You've brought Erestor to the point of ultimate torment, and so near to some real comfort, why , oh why leave everyone here??
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September 11, 2005 at 12:00 AM
I came back to reread ch. 6, hoping for an update, but finding none, figure I would at least prepare myself for one.
Your ever hopeful fan.
Your ever hopeful fan.
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September 4, 2005 at 12:00 AM
I've been thinking of your story for days. I keep coming back in hopes of finding more. It's really riveting.
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September 3, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Beautiful, poignant, heartbreaking - all that and more! I had to reread this from the beginning, the impact is just so much more that way. I just love the little details here and there. The bit about Aiglos, such a great way to illustrate how much depends upon the silent advisor! I found his history just incredibly sad; he seems to have only known small moments of contentment - not happiness, per se. Such isolation and loneliness, he hasn't had anything else. No wonder he doesn't recognize the admiration that others have for him. I'm still kind of confused as to what his illness was, since it seems to have been more than just fading. I'm wondering if it's some sort of side effect to his unconscious refusal to heal. Anyway, I was ecstatic to see the update - thank you so much!
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September 2, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Well, you said you didn't mind copyediting-type comments, so I have a few in a minute. I almost didn't read your story (incest is one of those things I find "squicky," as the lingo has it), but I was tempted by the Erestor/Glorfindel pairing. I kept wondering what could have had Erestor so despairing for so long. I admit you totally surprised me, but yes, it makes sense. I was afraid you were going to say love of Glorfindel or some such, which seemed to so belittle the situation you had described. A kinslayer! That definitely accounts for his darkness.
Anyway, a couple of times you say "silver haired elf." You need a hyphen in the compound modifier there: "the silver-haired elf."
An "of" that needs to be "off." "...throw the blond of the scent."
"Blond" used as a noun should be "blonde." I haven't looked htis up recently, but it certainly used to be the case. "Blond" would be the adjectival form only.
For "mother and father in law" you want "mother- and father-in-law."
"...as well as her" should be "as well as she." You can check this always by finishing the sentence: "as well as she did."
Celeborn says "Although remind me that you both need lessons in fair play." By the context, I think you mean "Although it reminds me that you ...." It doesn't quite make sense as it is where it is.
Anyway, I'm loving your story. It hangs together, the angst is real (instead of based on misunderstandings or truths unknown, which I find frustrating and not very satisfying), and your characterizations are good. So I thank you.
Anyway, a couple of times you say "silver haired elf." You need a hyphen in the compound modifier there: "the silver-haired elf."
An "of" that needs to be "off." "...throw the blond of the scent."
"Blond" used as a noun should be "blonde." I haven't looked htis up recently, but it certainly used to be the case. "Blond" would be the adjectival form only.
For "mother and father in law" you want "mother- and father-in-law."
"...as well as her" should be "as well as she." You can check this always by finishing the sentence: "as well as she did."
Celeborn says "Although remind me that you both need lessons in fair play." By the context, I think you mean "Although it reminds me that you ...." It doesn't quite make sense as it is where it is.
Anyway, I'm loving your story. It hangs together, the angst is real (instead of based on misunderstandings or truths unknown, which I find frustrating and not very satisfying), and your characterizations are good. So I thank you.
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September 2, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Argh! From what you'd said, I thought this was a completed story1 I stayed up until 1;00 am to be left like this!!??? Torture! Cruelty!
All right, I'm going to do my copyedit thing, as you have said is okay. Chapter 6: "Copper haired brother" should be copper-haired brother." Ditto : a dark-haired girl, golden-haired girlchild, new-caught ships (though I think "newly caught ships" might be better, in which case you don't use the hyphen), a small, black-haried girl, and cathcing the dark-haried Elf.
Kneeled by teh faller hero needs to "fallen hero."
Anyway, the story has me entirely entranced, caught, captured, and bound. I hope you're updating soon.
All right, I'm going to do my copyedit thing, as you have said is okay. Chapter 6: "Copper haired brother" should be copper-haired brother." Ditto : a dark-haired girl, golden-haired girlchild, new-caught ships (though I think "newly caught ships" might be better, in which case you don't use the hyphen), a small, black-haried girl, and cathcing the dark-haried Elf.
Kneeled by teh faller hero needs to "fallen hero."
Anyway, the story has me entirely entranced, caught, captured, and bound. I hope you're updating soon.
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September 1, 2005 at 12:00 AM
What a wonderfully writen story. I hope there is more to come? Thank you for sharing it with us.
Nancy
Nancy
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August 31, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Wow. You're best chapter yet. Amazing. Glorfindel. Erestor... the interweaving of the tale... perfect.
and..you made me cry. You get extra points for making me cry. :)
and..you made me cry. You get extra points for making me cry. :)
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August 31, 2005 at 12:00 AM
You did it, you´ve updated !!!!!!!!!!
*huggs* Thanks, it´s great!!!
*huggs* Thanks, it´s great!!!
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June 11, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Oooo...heritage now known! Nice! I can Not wait for the next chapter...I am enjoying this emencely <---ya I know I cant spell :)
~DarkDreamer
~DarkDreamer