rate_review Reviews

wow, what a long & interesting take! Still tryihg to finish wheee

It's wonderful stuff, Emma! I had to let you know... don't let the flamers get you down.

will you hurry up and update already? Your driving friggen insane! you story is soooooo good! But i cant help thinking, hasnt Sam forgotten something? didnt Merry say that they were leaving Crickhollow? Now even if Sam gets help, he doesnt know where Merry is going yet, and that just adds to the insanity of having to wait for you to update!

This fic rocks!!! It's very addictive, can'it fit for the next chapter!

im really enjoying the story, you seem to enjoy writing about merry turning evil and torturing pip. Great plotline, you can really see how merrys trying to luhe ohe others in with his mind work. cant wait to read the other chapters (when you put them up.) Glad pip finally got some sense knocked-- or should i say beat into him. Keep up the great work. I can honestly say, ive never read a peice of fanfic about lotr that i liked more then this one, maybe im just crazy though.

I'd love to be Pippin in the thing, I just don't have time to, er...officialy sign up. D'ya think you could possibly send me an e-mail with details or a link to where I could sign up?

You have talent. Very good. Keep on writing.

mean merry! brave sam, dense pip! poor frodo.

Well. I can't think of anything to say that hasn't already been said here -- you have a very nice writing style -- but aside from that, you might as well not even be writing in LOTR-verse. I mean -- honestly, now, if you wrote this story, changed the names, and said they were a whole bunch of guys living in a frat house together and that the Ring was actually the magiSpirSpirit Stick of Cheerleaders, none of us readers would think "Hmm, these characters have an uncanny reseblence to the hobbits from Lord of the Rings!" You offer no explanation for the twisting of Merry's character whatsoever. Even in an AU, this story would make little sense -- Merry obviously was not a demented person from the beginning, so why is he now? What explanation could you offer that would make this story seem in the least bit realistic? As a reviewer said before, this is purely torture for torture's sake. And while I have absolutely no problem with Frodo-torture -- in fact, I adore it -- I prefer a story with a bit more substance and a least an essance of believability (if that's a word). So please. It drags, it's unbelievable, it's OOC. Put the story out of its misery and use your talents for a more believable story.

First I'd like to congratulate you on the VAST improvement of the first two chapters. Your character evolution is much more believable and it's a great improvement to the fic. The added effort really shows in the writing and your talent is much more obvious. hat hat said, I have strong issues with your characters. Without worrying too much about Frodo (I don't have any serious problems with your Frodo) and setting aside your evil!Merry (I'm prepared to suspend my disbelief for the sake of the story), my main problem is with your portrayal of Pippin and Sam. Pippin's coming across as far too whiney and while you've captured his youth there's not much of his youthful exhuberance that makes the character such a joy to read about. Similarly, you've conveyed aspects of Sam's personality wonderfully but neglected others. You portray Sam's fierce loyalty very well and his love for Frodo is certainly shown. However, he isn't always recognisable since he often seems to be to to take the role of a 'heavy'. Sam's gentleness (which should not be confuseed with his goodness as you write that very well) isn't showing through here and that makes it difficult to associate the character with Tolkien's Sam. So the problem boils down to this - your Pippin is overly-vulnerable wheras yoam iam isn't vulnerable enough.

You're a very good writer and with some adjustments this fiuld uld be worthy of your skills. Well done.