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November 21, 2003 at 12:00 AM
OMG! NOOO Dont hurt her. Please. Please dont let that be the king, let legolas or the king come and rescue her. Please update soon. The story is fabulous.
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November 20, 2003 at 12:00 AM
Ahhhhhhh! very very cute! looking forward to next chapter. great fic
huggs
louise
huggs
louise
schedule
November 20, 2003 at 12:00 AM
I just wanna say, I'M LOVING IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It says that it is going 2 have Hot sex in it does that happen to Legolas/and that little girl when she's older? Hope so keep it up.
schedule
November 20, 2003 at 12:00 AM
Aww! This is such a sweet story. Please comtinue. You are doing aulouulous job. later.
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November 18, 2003 at 12:00 AM
That is so sweet, fantastic
huggs
louise
huggs
louise
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November 17, 2003 at 12:00 AM
Wow, cool! It's so... Pretty! I can't wait for the next chapter!
Vox in Sox
Vox in Sox
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November 16, 2003 at 12:00 AM
Hi Mystkyten,
For a first fic this is very good! I think you write very well, and have a good handle on Legolas; his caring for the little child was very nicely done, and his outrage at what the Orcs did was nicely handled. His loyalty to the child he has rescued is quite nice too.
I have one little suggestion... Please show us, in future chapters, why Thranduil hates Humans so much that he would roar his fury in the face of a terrified, bereaved child, and refuse to give it sanctuary. You hint at the end that he seems to be fighting within himself over the issue; I look forward to knowing why. Did Humans have something to do with the death of his wife, perhaps, or his mother? Does seeing a child bereaved by Orcs--even if Human--bring back memories so awful that he can't handle it? And why can't he, as he is an elder Elf with lots of experience dealing with these issues?
I have a problem with stories where Thranduil is made into a bad guy, you see, and would be most distressed if you chose that as an easy route to showing Legolas as a Really Nice Elf (tm) :-) We already KNOW he's a nice Elf, and don't need a Bad Elf to make Legolas look good... :-) So please consider giving us some really good, carefully thought-out reasons why Thranduil has reacted like this. And maybe further down the line, the little child could worm her way into aff affections? Most adult males are absolute suckers for little girls, no matter what species of male the Male is... (grin) It might be kinda cute to see her have a nightmare about her mother's death, and go running looking for comfort--and run into Thranduilkneekneecaps... he might be annoyed at first and then unable to resist her tear-stained little face.... and Legolas might find them later sitting in front of the fireplace in the King's study, both asleep, with Tithen Dulin cuddled in the King's arms... :-)
Anyway, it's your story, so do with it as you must--those are just some ideas from a Thranduil fan and long-time fanfic reader/writer. I think you have made a very fine beginning indeed; your "voice" as a writer is uniquely your own, and you handle dialogue pretty well for a firstfic. I look forward to seeing where you go with this!
For a first fic this is very good! I think you write very well, and have a good handle on Legolas; his caring for the little child was very nicely done, and his outrage at what the Orcs did was nicely handled. His loyalty to the child he has rescued is quite nice too.
I have one little suggestion... Please show us, in future chapters, why Thranduil hates Humans so much that he would roar his fury in the face of a terrified, bereaved child, and refuse to give it sanctuary. You hint at the end that he seems to be fighting within himself over the issue; I look forward to knowing why. Did Humans have something to do with the death of his wife, perhaps, or his mother? Does seeing a child bereaved by Orcs--even if Human--bring back memories so awful that he can't handle it? And why can't he, as he is an elder Elf with lots of experience dealing with these issues?
I have a problem with stories where Thranduil is made into a bad guy, you see, and would be most distressed if you chose that as an easy route to showing Legolas as a Really Nice Elf (tm) :-) We already KNOW he's a nice Elf, and don't need a Bad Elf to make Legolas look good... :-) So please consider giving us some really good, carefully thought-out reasons why Thranduil has reacted like this. And maybe further down the line, the little child could worm her way into aff affections? Most adult males are absolute suckers for little girls, no matter what species of male the Male is... (grin) It might be kinda cute to see her have a nightmare about her mother's death, and go running looking for comfort--and run into Thranduilkneekneecaps... he might be annoyed at first and then unable to resist her tear-stained little face.... and Legolas might find them later sitting in front of the fireplace in the King's study, both asleep, with Tithen Dulin cuddled in the King's arms... :-)
Anyway, it's your story, so do with it as you must--those are just some ideas from a Thranduil fan and long-time fanfic reader/writer. I think you have made a very fine beginning indeed; your "voice" as a writer is uniquely your own, and you handle dialogue pretty well for a firstfic. I look forward to seeing where you go with this!
schedule
November 16, 2003 at 12:00 AM
It's look very promise so far, please update soon.
Not bad for a shot, go on, and update soon.
Not bad for a shot, go on, and update soon.
schedule
November 16, 2003 at 12:00 AM
Nicely done! I can't wait to read more. I really hope Thranduil's heart warms to the child.
Take Care,
Teri
Take Care,
Teri
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November 16, 2003 at 12:00 AM
Very cool, looking forward to next chapter
huggs
louise
huggs
louise